When reflecting back on how the Boston Interfaith Leadership Initiative (BILI) has changed my definition of the word interfaith, I think about my personal evolution with the definition of tolerance. 

Having grown up in a fairly homogenous religious environment as a child, I was not very exposed to the notion of religious tolerance. I was able to exist in a very insular bubble, spending my days going to my Jewish school, Jewish camp, and synagogue as well as spending my time with my Jewish friends from these places. I was definitely tolerant of those with different beliefs, but I had never really asked questions or truly befriended anyone from a different faith. 

Throughout my high school years, I became interested in exploring other faiths and religions, but I was not sure how to begin. I joined my high school’s Muslim-Jewish Exchange program and participated in a college summer program where I got to visit different houses of worship such as a local Hindu temple, mosque, and church. However, there was much less interactive dialogue than I had anticipated; rather, a clergy member would explain their religion in an intimidating group setting with students who were hesitant to ask questions. We learned from one another and appreciated the differences, but afterwards, we went our separate ways. These experiences confused me, as I knew I was tolerant, and those around me were as well, but I did not know why this facilitation was not successful if we were all open and willing to learn. It was definitely not an optimal setting for interfaith dialogue and learning and left me wanting more.

These experiences made me realize that while I was religiously tolerant, and those around me were religiously tolerant, that was not enough. This notion was only amplified by my summer virtual “study abroad” experience where we learned about the Netherlands and its history as a tolerant country. About 50 years ago, the Netherlands was known for its tolerance and its pillarization, meaning that different religious groups existed in different pillars and rarely interacted with one another. For example, if you were Catholic, you would attend a certain school and church, vote for a specific political party, read a specific newspaper, and much more. Each religious group was tolerant of one another, but only so long as they did not have to learn from them or appreciate them. They coexisted separately. 

We must be able to open ourselves up to meaningful experiences with those from different faiths and religions.

This tolerant attitude reminded me of my childhood, and it was something I knew I did not want in my interfaith experiences. Since then, I have gotten increasingly involved in interfaith dialogues and interreligious discussions on campus, trying to facilitate productive and meaningful conversations between students of different faiths on campus. 

Joining BILI has only enhanced my belief that tolerance is not enough; we must be able to open ourselves up to meaningful experiences with those from different faiths and religions. Interfaith leaders can not just be tolerant; we must be accepting and welcoming. Key components of this are pluralism and engaging dialogue. BILI has taught me that pluralism is not about diversity but rather active seeking of understanding across lines of difference. Dialogue should be a sharing and listening experience with open communication. Through BILI, I have already started to create meaningful friendships with other fellows and have had deep conversations with them inside and outside of BILI about their faith and practices. I believe that this is what true interfaith work is about: meaningful relationships with those with different religious experiences, ones in which you can grow together. 

Pluralism and dialogue do not mean that one must abandon their faith or leave behind important principles.  They are about creating a space for curiosity and connection, where individuals can ask questions and share experiences.

Overall, I believe that what defines interfaith work is pluralism and dialogue, rather than tolerance. Effective pluralism and dialogue allow us to grow in ourselves and in our relationships with one another. So far, BILI has taught me how to engage in important dialogue, especially through learning about Reflective Structured Dialogue, which enables everyone to have a voice in the conversation, creating a safe environment to allow individuals to speak up. As I continue to learn more helpful interfaith skills through BILI, I have seen myself using techniques learned in BILI during my planning of various interfaith events at Northeastern’s Center for Spirituality, Dialogue and Service. I have taken my valuable interactions with other BILI fellows and have brought new ideas and thoughts into the Northeastern interfaith community. My viewpoint on what defines interfaith has definitely changed over the years, and BILI has helped strengthen my personal definition of interfaith as well as my campus interfaith community involvement.